So today’s Deadly Sin is Greed.
So on Monday, God, as you know a book officially launches: Broke, a book that may as well have been titled Greed. In so many ways, that is the sin that our time of financial desperation and our continuing time of daily bread living has convicted me of, that is the ugly bit of me that’s gotten battered, beat down, reworked. And I thank you for that.
Greed got in the way of nearly everything in my life–affecting who I was, who I was made to be. It clouded the right paths of my life, sent me reeling down wrong ones.
I’m grateful that you used the time of no money to work me over, to wake me up to the awful role of greed in my life.
But of course, it’s not gone. The greed doesn’t have a starring role in my life any more, but the cameos… Ugh. When greed pops up, it grabs my attention, turns my head back away from you and toward the old me, the one who thought having money was everything. When greed shows its face, I get back to lusting over all I don’t have (even though I have so much), over how easy and happy we could be if only, if only we didn’t still carry this debt. When greed shows up, I imagine that if we just had X (well, X,XXX,XXX) dollars, how all would be well. When greeds around–as you know–I forget that I need you.
Forgive me for that. Forgive me for a lifetime of greed. Forgive me for greed being so deep in me, I hardly even know how to confess all the ways it exists, all the places it lurks.