Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira » Speaking

Voices: Lost or Found?

Caryn — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:41:55 +0000

So I’ve been thinking about “voice” in the literary sense for a talk I’m giving in October to a bunch of leaders on writing (wow. THAT was clunky!).

And it just dawned on me that one of the things that frustrates me as a mom is not only that we tend to lose ourselves amidst the chaos of our lives, but often our voices too. I mean, I’ve GAINED the kind of voice I never wanted to have (that “oh my gosh are the windows open? Can the neighbors hear me yelling?” voice), but in many ways, the ability to be heard—in the way I want to be—gets lost. Not totally. But a bit.

But then I realized that motherhood revved up my voice in my writing. I mean, I write a ton more now than I ever did before. So I’ve got that going for me.

I’m wondering what your thoughts are. Has motherhood helped you find your voice or lose it?

I Got Nothing

Caryn — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 22:33:19 +0000

So after nearly a month of not posting anything here—because I’ve been squeezing every moment out of my days trying to make revisions to my book, keep on top of my regular editing gig, line up some speaking things, help plan a Moms Night Out at my church, put at least some dishes in the dishwasher and some clothes in the washer, and of course pay some mind to my lovey, lovey kids—I figured I ought to post something new.

But it’s so hot out; I’m so tired; and I gotta tell you, I got nothing. So this is just an update for updates’ sake.

I’ll try to post something more creative or insightful or amusing later. But right now—if it doesn’t start raining that is—I really just want to ride bikes with my fam.

Out of My Own Box

Caryn — Fri, 23 May 2008 19:37:18 +0000

After taking way too many days crafting a “speaker-introduction letter” to pimp myself out for speaking gigs, I’ve spent the afternoon sending out these letters to various churches and MOPS groups and the like.

This does NOT come naturally to me. There is, after all, a reason why I’m a writer and not, say, a concert promoter or even a sales person. Selling is not my strong suit, and selling myself fits me even worse (does this analogy line up?).

But since this self-promotion is part of the writing life (at least if you want to succeed at all), I forced myself out of my shy box and into this “here I am!” realm. Everything’s been going fine—I’d gotten into a decent groove—and then I got an email that made me want to crawl back in my little safe box.

The PASTOR of one of the churches I had contacted emailed me back saying never to “solicit” her church again. This sort of thing seriously makes me want to cry. I’m not good at being scolded, and her email sent me into moments of trying to figure out how I might have offended, what I did wrong (I’m only doing what my own MOPS director told me to do….), and how I could make it right.

So now, as I fear checking my in-box for more angry emails from church secretaries, women’s ministry leaders, and pastors alike, and as I second-guess my decision to pimp myself in the first place, I wonder, what moments in your life have you put yourself out there, uneasily, and faced resistance. What did you do?

Oh, and if you’re looking for an obviously unsure and self-depricating speaker (who’s still somehow quite at-ease in front of large groups of strangers), I’m your girl!

Happy Memorial Day!