Trouble is, I have no idea what to say right now. I’m writing because Amazon said, “You’re done. Now go say hello to your customers.” And I’m a first-born, very obedient. I do what I’m told. At least with stuff like this. Okay. So that relates—to our identies and everything. That works, right?

Now I really want to go see where this pops up. You go too! Click here and we shall see.

But it’s so hot out; I’m so tired; and I gotta tell you, I got nothing. So this is just an update for updates’ sake.

I’ll try to post something more creative or insightful or amusing later. But right now—if it doesn’t start raining that is—I really just want to ride bikes with my fam. 

This does NOT come naturally to me. There is, after all, a reason why I’m a writer and not, say, a concert promoter or even a sales person. Selling is not my strong suit, and selling myself fits me even worse (does this analogy line up?).

But since this self-promotion is part of the writing life (at least if you want to succeed at all), I forced myself out of my shy box and into this “here I am!” realm. Everything’s been going fine—I’d gotten into a decent groove—and then I got an email that made me want to crawl back in my little safe box.

The PASTOR of one of the churches I had contacted emailed me back saying never to “solicit” her church again. This sort of thing seriously makes me want to cry. I’m not good at being scolded, and her email sent me into moments of trying to figure out how I might have offended, what I did wrong (I’m only doing what my own MOPS director told me to do….), and how I could make it right.

So now, as I fear checking my in-box for more angry emails from church secretaries, women’s ministry leaders, and pastors alike, and as I second-guess my decision to pimp myself in the first place, I wonder, what moments in your life have you put yourself out there, uneasily, and faced resistance. What did you do?

Oh, and if you’re looking for an obviously unsure and self-depricating speaker (who’s still somehow quite at-ease in front of large groups of strangers), I’m your girl!

Happy Memorial Day!

All this to say, I haven’t blogged since I turned in my book for those very reasons. I’m still sick of my own thoughts, and I’m cringing a bit even now as I think them.

But one important thing came of all this me—and it affects my mom ID more than I ever realized. In the book, I’ve got a chapter on how God can shape and grow you during periods of being “hemmed” in—meaning during times of motherhood when you feel you’re kept from or unable to live out all your gifts and dreams or whatever.

While I’ve long experienced this hemmed-in feeling as a mom, spending all these months eating, drinking, thinking, sleeping my book hemmed me in in a whole new way. Actually, in the reverse way. While writing about wanting to be known for my full identity and being encouraged to live out my full identity, I found myself wanting nothing more than to be with my kids.

Not that I wasn’t with them, mind you, during this process. I wrote in the wee hours of the night, during “nap” times, baths, and with them playing on the floor while I typed at my desk. I had babysitters sometimes, but primarily, I was at-home as much as I ever way. But I even when I was with them, I wasn’t often engaged—my mind was on the book.

That’s whey I realized what was happening. I think God also used the period of writing to stretch and grow me as a mom. I’ve come out of the book-writing period not only pumped about getting to live a dream, but recharged about my role as mom. Go figure… But I gotta run now—I’m getting sick of me again.